#153: Do We Care If Writers Exaggerate? and When The Cranes Fly South vs Only About Love

Liars, Lisa Ridzen, and Debbi Voisey – welcome to episdoe 153!

In the first half, we talk about our expectations of truth in the non-fiction we read, inspired by the hoo-ha over The Salt Path. In the second half, we compare When The Cranes Fly South by Lisa Ridzen with Only About Love by Debbi Voisey.

You can support the podcast at Patreon – where you’ll also get access to the exclusive new series ‘5 Books’, where I ask different people about the last book they finished, the book they’re currently reading, the next book they want to read, the last book they bought and the last book they were given.

And, of course, do get in touch at teaorbooks@gmail.com with any questions or comments!

The books and authors we mention in this episode are:

Deborah by Esther Kreitman
Isaac Bashevis Singer
May We Feed The King by Rebecca Perry
Helen of Nowhere by Makenna Goodman
The Things We Never Say by Elizabeth Strout
The Odyssey by Homer
Unsayable by Michael Cunningham
David Sedaris
A Million Little Pieces by James Frey
Grief Is For People by Sloane Crosley
The Memory Illusion by Julia Shaw
Rose Macaulay by Constance Babington-Smith
Rose Macaulay: A Writer’s Life by Jane Emery
Rose Macaulay by Sarah LeFanu
Beverley Nichols
The Diary of a Provincial Lady by E.M. Delafield
Mrs Miniver by Jan Struther
All The Dogs of My Life by Elizabeth von Arnim
How The Heather Looks by Joan Bodger
The Crack in the Teacup by Joan Bodger
Curriculum Vitae by Muriel Spark
Letters to Gwen John by Celia Paul
Spare by Prince Harry
Marcel Proust
Temptation by János Székely (is the book Rachel couldn’t remember!)
The Book of Eve by Constance Beresford-Howe
Jacob’s Room by Virginia Woolf
The Waves by Virginia Woolf

Only About Love by Debbi Voisey – #ABookADayInMay – Day 4

A quick one from me, because I’m back home late after driving home from Hay-on-Wye (haul to be revealed at some point, possibly after May), via an afternoon at Hidcote National Trust and Chipping Camden, and then straight to Devil Wears Prada 2 (good for nostalgia’s sake, if very patchy). Somewhere along the way, I managed to finish Only About Love (2021) by Debbi Voisey.

After loving Douglas Bruton’s Blue Postcards, I decided to buy up a whole bunch of other Fairlight Moderns. They’re such lovely little editions, and a really interesting range of titles. Admittedly, I read another one that I didn’t like (and decided not to write about) but Only About Love was more of a success.

It tells the story of Frank – in many ways, an ordinary sort of man. He lives in a normal house, has a job that is neither exciting nor particularly the opposite, and marries a nice woman and has nice children. Along the way, he has at least one affair – which is sadly also not that out of the ordinary. But the style in which it is told is where the unusual element comes in. Voisey has taken this everyman’s life and told it in fragments and vignettes – out of chronological order – from Frank’s perspective and from the perspective of his wife and children, and occasionally objective lists and bullet points. Since these are not framed with an explanation, the reader has to quickly catch up with who is telling their story, and where we are in Frank’s life history. It means Only About Love is an endless chain of mild disorientations, always having to establish and re-establish our surroundings – but it comes together in a very coherent whole.

The disorientation also puts us a little in Frank’s place – because the crux of the novella is his diagnosis, decline and eventual death with dementia. An acknowledgement from Voisey suggests she has first-hand experience of this from her father, and that is perhaps why this plot is told with such observation, kindness and charity. Illness does not exonerate Frank of his misdeeds, but nor should it overshadow the everyday nobleness that was also part of his character. (Incidentally, once you know that dementia is central to the story, I think it makes Sam Kalda’s illustration on the cover feel very poignant.)

The title comes from a section late in the novella, from the perspective of Frank’s daughter as she tends to him in the late stages of dementia. I’ll finish by quoting this vignette in full:

When you shave him, he moves his mouth and face around like he’s chewing an invisible sweet. He offers up his neck with absolute trust; you glide the blade down beneath his chin and over his Asam’s apple. It’s massive, like he’s swallowed a rock.

You hear the rasp of his stubble and it’s almost like the noise is coming from you, because there’s sandpaper inside you. Your stomach is made of it. Your heart is made of it. Your throat. Your insides have been transformed into a million tiny pieces of rock.

He can no longer speak, but words are unnecessary. Life is now simply in its cruelty; he once cared for you and now you’re caring for him.

Each touch of your fingers on his skin reminds him that love still exists. You want all his waking thoughts from now on to be only about love.