The Man Who Loved Virginia Woolf Too Much (Day 2)

It’s the fourth day of Lent, and I’m about to start on my fourth poem – so it’s all going to plan so far. As I said, I won’t be posting every poem – but I thought I’d share what I wrote on day 2. It’s something of a self portrait…

The Man Who Loved Virginia Woolf Too Much

A pensive smile, a far-off look,
A sense that here, at last, is truth
A somewhat tattered library book,
Oh lord… he loves Virginia Woolf.

He has fixed ideas about the sea
(Which mariners would contradict)
Each rock-pool is a simile
However dull or nondescript.

For holidays, he sometimes takes
A walking tour of Bloomsbury Squares
And points out all the guide’s mistakes
In case, by chance, somebody cares.

Occasionally, he handwrites prose
Inspired by Woolf (or so he claims)
With comma : full stop ratios
To rival those of Henry James.

Mention Faulker, Brontës, Proust,
Either Eliot, Brothers Grimm,
You’ll find it isn’t any use –
Only Virginia for him!

He doesn’t drink, he doesn’t smoke,
He has no sinful thoughts, as such,
His only vice, his heavy yoke:
He loves Virginia Woolf too much!

 

17 thoughts on “The Man Who Loved Virginia Woolf Too Much (Day 2)

  • March 4, 2017 at 2:34 pm
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    This is absolutely wonderful!

    Reply
    • March 7, 2017 at 1:19 pm
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      Thanks Sally :D

      Reply
    • March 7, 2017 at 1:18 pm
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      We are in the same boat, aren’t we? One tossed about on The Waves!

      Reply
  • March 4, 2017 at 9:37 pm
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    Give me a Bronte over Woolf any day, but great poem!

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    • March 4, 2017 at 11:51 pm
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      I agree, Nicola. Maybe I need to read more Woolf, but I adore just about any novel by a Bronte !

      Enjoying Simon’s poems as we await Spring here in central Washington state with snow still on the ground. Maybe I should try writing poems too !

      Reply
      • March 7, 2017 at 1:16 pm
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        Do, Linda! Spring is a great time to start getting creative, isn’t it?

        Reply
    • March 7, 2017 at 1:18 pm
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      Thanks Nicola!

      Reply
  • March 4, 2017 at 9:47 pm
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    Reading this was the brightest spot in my day! Thank you, Simon, you’re a marvelous poet.

    I sat for a studio portrait years ago, and still shudder when I see it. My children tease mercilessly. I was just out of university and trying so awfully hard for that “… pensive smile, a far-off look …” All because of Virginia Woolf. Oh dear.

    My favorite lines, literally laughed out loud, are:
    “And points out all the guide’s mistakes
    In case, by chance, somebody cares.”

    Reply
  • March 4, 2017 at 9:50 pm
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    Reading this was the brightest spot in my day! Thank you, Simon, you’re a marvelous poet.

    I sat for a studio portrait years ago, and still shudder when I see it. My children tease mercilessly. I was just out of university and trying so awfully hard for that “pensive smile, a far-off look” and it was all because of Virginia Woolf. Oh dear.

    My favorite lines, literally laughed out loud, are:
    “And points out all the guide’s mistakes
    In case, by chance, somebody cares.”

    Reply
    • March 7, 2017 at 1:17 pm
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      That’s so nice of you, thank you Susan! And how funny, about the portrait – I’m sure it is a source of hilarious embarrassment :)

      Reply
    • March 7, 2017 at 1:17 pm
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      Thank you Natalie!

      Reply
  • March 5, 2017 at 6:22 pm
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    Brilliant. I study next door to her house in Gordon Square, Bloomsbury. It’s a beautiful place (which could afford to live there).

    You might like this link:

    Reply
    • March 7, 2017 at 1:13 pm
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      Oh, what a nice place to study! And thanks for the link :)

      Reply
  • March 5, 2017 at 6:24 pm
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    ‘wish I could afford to live there’ – writing block after doing my thesis – please excuse typo!

    Reply

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