Tea or Books? #86: Empathy vs Sympathy and The Child That Books Built vs When I Was A Child I Read Books

Marilynne Robinson, Francis Spufford, empathy and sympathy!

Welcome to episode 86, in which we talk about characters we feel empathetic towards and those we feel sympathetic towards. And if you aren’t sure of the distinction, don’t worry, we’ve got that covered too.

In the second half, we compare two books with similar titles but very different contents: When I Was a Child I Read Books by Marilynne Robinson and The Child That Books Built by Francis Spufford.

Do get in touch if you have any suggestions for topics or a question for the middle bit – we’re at teaorbooks[at]gmail.com. Find us in your podcast app of choice, on Spotify, or on Apple Podcasts. And you can support us on Patreon, where there are also bonus ten-minute episodes from me.

The books and authors we mention in this episode are:

The Game by A.S. Byatt
Possession by A.S. Byatt
The Matisse Stories by A.S. Byatt
The Children’s Book by A.S. Byatt
The Vanishing Act by Adrian Alington
Dorothy L Sayers
Agatha Christie
Diary of a Provincial Lady by E.M. Delafield
Mr Norris Changes Trains by Christopher Isherwood
Goodbye To Berlin by Christopher Isherwood
Decline and Fall by Evelyn Waugh
Henry James
Prater Violet by Christopher Isherwood
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
Emma by Jane Austen
Ian McEwan
Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
Dr Thorne by Anthony Trollope
The Warden by Anthony Trollope
Barchester Towers by Anthony Trollope
The Vicar of Wakefield by Oliver Goldsmith
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Lady Susan by Jane Austen
Ivy Compton-Burnett
I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith
Biggles series by W.E. Johns
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood
Any Human Heart by William Boyd
The Mirror and the Light by Hilary Mantel
The Way We Live Now by Meg Rosoff
My Cousin Rachel by Daphne du Maurier
Wish Her Safe at Home by Stephen Benatar
The Secret History by Donna Tartt
The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak
The Bookshop by Penelope Fitzgerald
White Cargo by Felicity Kendal
William Shakespeare
The Town in Bloom by Dodie Smith
Look Back With Love by Dodie Smith
Look Back With Astonishment by Dodie Smith
Look Back With Mixed Feelings by Dodie Smith
Opening Night by Ngaio Marsh
Wise Children by Angela Carter
Mansfield Park by Jane Austen
Lover’s Vows by Elizabeth Inchbald
Sea Change by Elizabeth Jane Howard
At Freddie’s by Penelope Fitzgerald
Molly Fox’s Birthday by Deirdre Madden
Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson
Famous Five series by Enid Blyton
Bookworm by Lucy Mangan
The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien
The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
Little House on the Prarie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Golden Hill by Francis Spufford
Crossriggs by Jane and Mary Findlater
Emma by Jane Austen

4 thoughts on “Tea or Books? #86: Empathy vs Sympathy and The Child That Books Built vs When I Was A Child I Read Books

  • July 7, 2020 at 6:48 pm
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    I like the sympathy v. empathy question. I’m going to have to think more about that because I feel torn at the moment!

    I applaud you both for finishing/starting the Marilynne Robinson essays! I have tried to read another of her books of essays (The Givenness of Things), and I very speedily classified it “check back on this in 20 years when I know more”. She is such a conceptual writer in her essays and conceptual thinking is not my strength. I deal better in particulars, so I find her novels so much more readable and moving. I’d rather start with images (like John Ames’ son playing in a sprinkler) and use that as the basis for a concept (e.g. the concept of baptism). The Spufford sounds good! I’ll look forward to reading it. I loved both Narnia and Little House as a child.

    Reply
    • July 11, 2020 at 4:11 pm
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      At one point you mention Christian novelists. One that I would highly recommend is Elizabeth Goudge. I know, Simon, that you reviewed The Middle Window at one point, but that novel is completely different from anything else I’ve ever read by her. Many of her novels are historical fiction, but one that isn’t is The Scent of Water about a middle aged woman who buys a house in a small village and discovers the house’s past life. My all time favourite so far is The Child from the Sea about Charles II’s mistress who Goudge argues was his secret wife. Each novel has great characters and story lines, but each one (except for The Middle Window) also has a mystical layer behind the narrative. I always feel I’ve grown as a person after reading them.

      Reply
  • July 7, 2020 at 8:29 pm
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    Such an interesting episode – I hadn’t considered the sympathy/empathy question before and I’m now going to have to decide how I feel about characters I read them.

    I read and enjoyed the Spufford, although there was a little too much psychology for my liking if I’m honest. Not sure that the Robinson is for me, though…

    Reply
  • July 8, 2020 at 2:44 pm
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    Loved the podcast as always, and know I know definitively the difference between empathy and sympathy! I do sometimes read books with awful characters (Zola’s novels are full of them) and it does take an excellent writer to get me involved in the story. I’m currently reading the Claudine novellas by Colette and in the first volume I found her rather obnoxious but I shall persevere and see what the fuss was all about 100 years ago.

    And I am all anticipation regarding your next podcast — I loved both Crossriggs and Emma and cannot wait to hear what you have to say! I’d also recommend Miss Marjoribanks by Margaret Oliphant as another Emma-ish character.

    Reply

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