Further poems about authors

Many of you were kind enough to say nice things about my previous little poems about authors, and so, in this hot weather, I have turned my attention to writing a few more… I hope you enjoy them!

Not relevant… but nice.

A reductive reading of Dorothy Parker
Poems, journalism, more –
Yet you are remembered for
Advising, to the finer sex,
A total abstinence from specs.


Gentlemen
Men apparently declare
Their love based on a woman’s hair.
That is all they need, to choose
(according to Anita Loos.)

Reassurance
You’re my favourite of the three
And yet you have the faintest fame.
To generations you will be:
‘Charlotte, Emily, whatshername’.

My Problem With Alfred
Reading Dead White Men is fun,
Unless, of course, it’s Tennyson.
Among his literary powers
Is not included a respect for line length or stresses or anything so long as he can mention flowers.

22 thoughts on “Further poems about authors

  • July 9, 2013 at 10:31 pm
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    Ah – you have me chortling with joy, especially with those last 2 :)

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  • July 9, 2013 at 10:57 pm
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    Ah, I admit I had a momentary difficulty remembering whatshername… Anne?

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  • July 10, 2013 at 1:58 am
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    Alfred is my fav! Followed closely by Reassurance. (I haven't read any of the first two to get the depth, but I do appreciate the poems.) Thank you for the smile today.

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    • July 13, 2013 at 10:14 am
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      Thank you Susan :)
      The first is based on Dorothy Parker's famous saying "Men don't make passes / At girls who wear glasses" – and the second is in honour of the author of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

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  • July 10, 2013 at 3:49 am
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    Laughing out loud at the Tennyson. So funny! It reminds me of an incident in the read-long -ago The Eyre Affair when a minor character is trapped inside Wordsworth's Daffodils. She is heard to yell something along the lines of "Help, help! Get me out of here. It's so boring" Yes, The Eyre Affair is a book in which people. can go in and out of works of literature. Imagine the possibilities!

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    • July 13, 2013 at 10:15 am
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      I keep meaning to read The Eyre Affair, I borrowed it from a friends years and years ago!

      My first ever tutorial at Oxford, I talked about how poorly I thought Tennyson wrote… to, it turned out, a leading Tennyson scholar. Oops.

      Thank you for your lovely comment!

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    • July 13, 2013 at 10:15 am
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      I do find them very fun to write, so I shall definitely work on more :)

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  • July 11, 2013 at 7:54 am
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    Haha thank you Simon, these are great. My favourite is the Tennyson one too, as though I needed to choose. And Ellen, I will have to read The Eyre Affair! Friends and I once memorized Daffodils by assigning actions to every line. Fortunately no video evidence exists…

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    • July 13, 2013 at 10:16 am
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      Haha! Nice job. Have you seen the squirrel rapping Daffodils, for the Cumbria tourist board, or the Wordsworth Trust, or something. It's worth a watch…

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    • July 13, 2013 at 10:17 am
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      Thanks Erica! I thought I'd get lots of outraged Tennysonians, but that doesn't seem to have happened.

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  • July 11, 2013 at 1:08 pm
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    These are fabulous Simon. You should definitely keep writing. Then you should draw a sketch about each author to go with the poem :) I think your Dostoyevsky and twitter cartoon would go nicely with the poem about Crime and Punishment. I believe your great, witty poems together with your wonderful sketches would make a brilliant book/album.

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    • July 13, 2013 at 10:17 am
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      That's so nice, Agnieszka! I might make something like that for myself one day, when I've written/drawn enough.

      Reply

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